On Thursday at 11:00am Ethiopian Airlines flight 503 left for Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, with me on it. The engines roared, the wheels propelled us forward, and before I knew it we were airborne, Toronto falling farther and farther behind.
My trip went smoothly, and contrary to what I expected, Addis Ababa was actually my favorite part of the whole thing. In the midst of all the confusion and chaos the airport held, I found myself sitting on the dusty floor of my gate just relaxing and taking it all in. I never felt unsafe, never felt anxious, never even felt out of place. The only way I can explain it is that there was a firm peace upon me, and I know that it is because of all of the prayers being sent my way. Friday afternoon I arrived in Ndola, Zambia where Delic’s picked me up and we drove home to Kitwe. Over the weekend I settled in and adjusted to the time change, and today I finally got to go to the school. My heart was so full as I walked up to general assembly to hear the students singing a welcome song they had prepared for me…they sure know how to give a warm welcome. I ended up teaching a preschool class, and while it definitely held its’ challenges (especially since they don’t know much English yet) I felt like the luckiest girl in the world to get this opportunity. I can’t wait to spend every day at the school interacting with the kids whether it be as a teacher, photographer, or just as a friend. I can’t help but think of myself just a week ago: preparing for the trip with so much excitement yet so much anxiety all at the same time. How would the trip go? What’s the culture like? How will I like where I’m going to stay? Will I get along with the people? But as the trip got closer and closer, so did God. I felt Him, I knew His peace in a way like never before, and instead of fear or anxiety I began to feel so incredibly humbled and thankful that the God who parts the seas and calms the storms cared enough to give me the dream of my heart. Cared enough to place this desire in me so long ago, and to prepare me for this trip before I knew it would ever be a reality. He is good, and I am so excited to see how He works in and through me in the weeks to come right here, in Kitwe, Zambia.
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“Though I can’t see what’s in front of me, still I will trust You.” –Steady Heart, Steffany Gretzinger
I wish I was as brave, independent, and trusting as some people seem to think I am, but the truth is I’m not. Just because I am traveling solo, and spending 2 months in a far away country I have never been to doesn’t mean that I am brave. I’m really not, and that’s OK. God hasn’t called me to be brave, He has called me to be obedient. When I look at my own little story, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, inadequate, and unable. But when I look at His story I feel confident, thankful, and excited. Any fears I once had fade away and the joy begins to overflow, because I am going to Zambia! How awesome is my God, to plant this dream in my heart so long ago and now bring it to life?! In 3 days I will be on a plane carrying me far away (Toronto --> Ethiopia --> the Congo -->Zambia) and while the anxieties and fears that I feel are real when I think of that, so is the excitement and joy that also floods my soul. My Father holds both the future and my hand, and so with confidence I will walk forward knowing that His steady heart will lead my heart on, through the fear and the excitement, through the anxiety and the joy. So from Kitchener to Kitwe, here I come! For years I have prayed, waited, and dreamt of the day when I would embark on a journey to a far away country to serve people I don’t yet know, and on June 4, 2013 while I was asking God what He wanted me to do, He told me: “Go to Africa.” Since that day I have been confident that one day this call would be fulfilled, and now here I am 4 years later, leaving for Zambia in just 3 short weeks. I have experienced all the emotions…overwhelming excitement, then sudden panic, then doubts, insecurities, and then excitement again. Not too long ago I was going through a panic stage, and as I sat on my bed telling my Father all of my fears, He gave me a beautiful image in my mind: I saw a little girl walking through the Ethiopian Airport with a man so tall I couldn’t even see his head. He was her father. He wore a crisp suit, and every person they passed looked at them as if they knew that this man had all power and deserved all respect. If the little girl had walked alone she would have been incredibly vulnerable, but because she walked holding her father’s hand, she was perfectly safe. “That’s me and you.” He whispered in my ear. “Is the promise of my presence not enough?” All anxieties were quieted in that moment, because I was reminded of the reality that where I go, He goes. I am not traveling alone, I am not staying alone, I am not serving alone. I could spend my time worrying about all the possible outcomes, but that will only leave me more fearful than before. Instead I want to claim what I know: that He is faithful, and good, and the promises He makes stand true. My Father who has called me to go, will go with me, and that promise of His presence is enough. |